An Inner Voice Beneath The Surface

 

"It was then when I heard her answers and embraced her wisdom." Tery Lynne Brouwer

For the longest time, I didn't trust myself. In fact, I didn't trust others as well, but I found myself molded into other people's thoughts and opinions. I didn't have faith in myself with what I believed in or what I knew for sure.

I was too afraid to speak my mind: I didn't have a voice. I looked for answers everywhere else; in conversations, books and even therapy.

I kept moving forward, doing what was expected. Not being true to myself with what I was hearing: an inner voice beneath the surface. But life has a way of slowing us down when we refuse to listen. It was during one of those pauses: from noise, the hustle and bustle, the work hours, kids, family and life itself - that I finally heard her answers.

It was the voice that I kept silence for years. The voice of wisdom. The voice of experience. The voice of reason. The voice from my soul. 

There comes a quiet moment in life when the noise softens enough for us to hear what has always been there. Not the opinions of others or the expectation that lies within life, but HER - the Inner Voice that has waited patiently to come out and soar.

I was tired. Run down. Exhausted. Traumatized. My self-esteem was shattered to past abuse and disappointment from others. I had been trying to be strong for too long. Overtime, I finally realized that I had to stop forcing myself into versions of life that no longer fit. I had to learn that the version of life that I was truly meant to live mattered.

Embracing her wisdom meant letting go of the belief that I had to have everything figured out. It meant choosing compassion over criticism when I looked at my own reflection. It meant trusting, boundaries, healing and softness were not signs of failure - but signs of growth.

Some days, listening to her meant making difficult choices. It meant facing the truth, holding myself accountable, being honest with myself and others and allowing the answers to come through naturally. Learning that peace may not always come from action, but from acceptance.

"And you will know the truth and the truth shall set you free." John 8:32.

I am still learning how to listen. Still learning how to honor that quiet inner voice without second guessing it, But, now, when she speaks, I pause. I pay attention. I take her seriously.

Because, it was then when I heard her answers and embraced her wisdom.